It's A Long Road (TASHA)

[markus]

Markus noticed the shiver and naturally thought it was from his cool hands more than anything else. He frowned, letting his hand trail back down her spine, feeling every ridge and bump in the old scar, each divot and bump. His head shook before hearing her speak. "I have time for a very long story." He said sympathetically. His hand gently gripped the hem of her shirt along her back and tugged it back into place. He could hear the roughness in her throat as she fought not to cry. Unlike most men who ran at the sight of tears, or thought they could use that vulnerability to their advantage, Markus sucked in a slow breath. His heart went out to the woman, knowing that something horrible had to have happened to her. His emotions only ranging between sadness, understanding and compassion.

A low sigh slipped from his lips, his hand still on her back as he slipped around to stand in front of her. His arms quickly enveloped her, pulling the woman to his chest, his hand brushing slowly through her curls. Markus knew just how badly the past could hurt you, even years later. He was only trying to comfort Tasha, only trying to be a friend. He wasn't sure how long he would be here, but it was better to make nice, to understand the people he was around during his time here. He held her tightly, tight enough to be comforting, but loosely at the same time so that if she wanted to pull away she would easily be able. Markus hated seeing women in pain, hated seeing women cry because in his eyes, women were beautiful and tears should come from happy things, nothing sad. The sadness should be left in the past with the hurt and anger.. but he of all people knew how impossible that could be.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Tasha kept her head down, eyes closed trying to relaxe some letting the shirt go feeling the hem pulled. But her arms remained slightly wrapped around her body for now, at least till she was pulled into his body and they reached around his back. Her face buried some in his shirt as the tears came a little more freely hating how things still bugged her about the past. But when you lose your entire family some more horrific than others. Rubbing her cheek against his chest before she slowly pulled back enough to look up at him.~

"I'm sorry about this. As for what happened its been a few years actually. Which irritates me that I can still get so worked up over it, but I do as you can see. It was in Moreana I was about 25 I think the Freki for my own families pack and was leading a hunt which one of my youngest cousins begged to go on. Since he was old enough we thought it would be a good challenge for him, plus it wasn't like he was alone." ~Sighing softly before she took in a breath and continued.~ "As we left none of us realized at the time my dads closest and best friend Damon was going to betray us. He made some kind of deal with a large coven as well as the local humans.

He lead a large group against the pack still at home while another ambushed my hunting party. They didn't get detected till it was too late and we were under attack. Some of the older members and myself were able to kill many but the younger members were having problems. As it appeared the vampires were given facts about fighting styles and than some had powers" ~A low growl as she curled into his chest again and slowly sucked in another breath. This part always got to her and she did see it as if it was happening now in her mind.~ "My little cousin had been right beside me and than when I noticed him missing heard his cries for help. I went to him and was attacked by five vampires, one wielding a silver bladed sword. When I was pinned he left the mark you saw along my back, making it nearly impossible to move from the pain. That and having five of them holding me down. I...I..."

~Freezing up some and she was shaking from the images flashing in her mind of what happened to the boy.~ "They forced me to watch as they first tortured him than...than ripped him apart. And all I could do was listen to his cries and screams for help and the pain. The blade was kept near my spine to keep me from getting any ideas and afterwards Damon shows. A few of the others were kept for pets but most likely would be killed while Damon said I could stay alive. It was my punishment and his revenge against my family."

~Unable to look up at him she was shaking so badly she wanted to be sick, but held those thoughts away for now. Though he was probably able to feel her nails even through his shirt with how tightly she was holding onto him.~ "He was power hungry bastard and believe power overthrew bloodlines. He hated me earning the second to my father and my twin as well. It wasn't given to us we fought, trained and showed the others how we deserved it. That and he believed our parents were two soft and needed to be harder, I guess you can say cruel to the ones who fell out of line. We were given a gift and abusing it in his eyes." ~Shivering still as her eyes closed and she hid her face against his shirt praying he didn't turn on her. That and praying she didn't pity either too much had been seen for years she was done with pity. From others that is.~

[markus]

Markus felt the warm tears on his bare chest and frowned at the top of her head, his hand brushing gently through her hair. His eyes locked onto hers when she looked up at him, he nodded to encourage her, listening closely as she spoke. He didn't interrupt the girl once, merely let her tell him everything that she needed to. He nodded and shook his head in the appropriate places, and growled out at a couple too. For a short time after she stopped speaking he had nothing to say. And then he sighed deeply, pulling her a little closer to him. "Aah, Look, Tasha, you may have noticed by now that I'm not really a man of many words." He said with a chuckle. Markus really hoped she would give him the same courtesy and not interrupt him, it was difficult enough for him to speak without having an interruption.

His tongue brushed across his lips, still holding onto her. It made it easier when he could just stare at the far wall. "Look. I know what happened is hard, I know it sucks and that you wish things could have gone differently. But what else could have changed? Either you would have been dead or nothing would have happened at all. We can't predict the future, all we can do is roll with the punches and hope to God we'll get to see tomorrow." He said, taking in a slow breath. He gently eased himself back from her, resting his back against the counter and staring at the floor for the moment. "What happened wasn't your fault, there's nothing you could have done. Sometimes shit happens, Tasha, and it's out of our control." He was trying to make a point, but it didn't have as much standing when he didn't believe it much himself. He still hadn't gotten over his own issues..

"What I'm trying to say here is this. Don't hate all of one kind just because there's been a few assholes out there." He said, finally raising the green eyes to meet her blue one's. A gentle smile spread across his lips as he pushed back off the counter and wrapped her back into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his hand rubbing at her back. "I am sorry for what happened to you." He whispered.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Tasha looked at him before nodding some at his first words about not being a man of many words. Sighing softly but she would remain silent for the time just as he had with her. Biting on her lip some softly letting him have a moment listening to his words before letting her eyes close briefly. Leaning her head against his chest for a moment inhale again deeply. Unsure what to say at the moment and just allowed him to continue. Shaking her head some as if to try and argue the point but than stopped and just remained quiet once more. Stepping back as he did before she felt him pulling her back into his embrace. Moving her arms around to his back and holding him for the time.~

"Thank you...I know your...your right but I still feel like it was mine. Somehow or that I should of tried harder." ~Shaking her head some against his chest before letting her eyes just close and she remained quiet just trying to calm herself down some. This was slightly embarrassing and she couldn't imagine what he was possible thinking about her though had no idea he had a similar pain from his own past.~

[markus]

Markus held her close to his chest, shaking his head at her words. "There is nothing more you could have done, Tasha. You did what you had to do. It may cause some pain, but just keep in mind that you're here to fight another day, to protect someone else, to guide another soul through a troubled time." He said softly. She would probably assume that he was talking about the little orphan child, but he was actually talking about himself. His fingers combed gently though her hair. He didn't care that she'd broken down a little. Everyone did at one point or another. No one could stay strong all the time, sometimes that guard, those walls had to lower for just a fraction of a second for a person to find peace.

And the worst part of that was, those walls couldn't lower just when a person was alone. Markus knew that people needed others, that there had to be communication and trust and more importantly that there had to be someone to confide in. Sure, he prayed to god every night, but it was like talking to a dog, the conversation was a little one-sided. His thumb twisted the silver engagement band on his ring finger without realizing he was doing it, most times it just happened idly, his hands following a familiar pattern.

He couldn't think of anything else to say, so simply held onto her, stroking her hair and trying to help her calm herself back down. She'd shared something vital with him and he felt that he should return the gesture, if only so that she could know him better.. but he couldn't bring himself to speak the words. He couldn't allow himself to confide in her yet. Someday, maybe, but not yet.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Hearing his words she kept her eyes closed a moment before just nodding against his chest. She wasn't sure what else to say honestly at the moment looking up at him finally, unsure what he meant by the last part. Staring up into his eyes for a brief second before leaning in and kissed his cheek.~ "I don't know what else to say Markus, but thank you for listening it helped some." ~Taking in another breath before letting her eyes close a moment and rested her forehead against his chest.

Well this was not how she planned the day to go that was for sure, but at least he wasn't judging her. Or ran out after she broke down since some men can't handle emotional females. Sorry to say Tasha was all emotion literally. Being her beast was called with it and she could pick up on others, the woman could really be in a storm of it with others at times. Licking her bottom lip a little more before slowly looking up trying to manage a smile even faint.~

[markus]

Markus shook his head softly as she thanked him. "Don't mention it, Tasha. Sometimes we all need someone to listen." He said with a shrug of his shoulders as he looked down at her. A flush touching his cheeks as she kissed it. His imagination ran wild for the briefest of moments before he reeled it back in and patted her back when she leaned against him. Markus chewed on his lower lip, staring at the far side of the room once more, though as she pulled back he looked down at her and returned the smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. Looking down at her, once more his imagination started up on a wild adventure, though before it could get too far he snapped it off with another faint blush touching his cheeks that could have been easy blamed on his not liking to talk, or how close she was, or any number of things.

Sucking in a slow breath he pulled back from her, letting his hands fall back to his side. "I, um.. I'm going to go get my laundry.." He stuttered slightly. His tongue dashed over his lips, taking a step back from her. He was trying to hide the sudden nervousness he'd felt and should have known it was pointless. Before he could say anything stupid he reached out, grabbed his towel from the counter and turning his back on her so that he could go to his room and collect everything that needed washed. Wish his back to her she would notice the tattoo. Just a simple thing really, nothing he was ashamed of, something that all of his 'brothers' had gotten when they'd joined up. 'Semper Fi' was written in bold letters in an arch between his shoulder blades. Most times he completely forgot it was even there.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Tasha was picking up varies glimpses of emotions from Markus and let out a breath, looking back up at him and nodded. Seeing the flush on his cheeks she almost moved her hand to caress the side of his face than stopped. When he finally stepped back she lifted her head and looked up seeing the blush again and raised a brow. But merely nodded about doing his laundry although him stuttering the words out had her curiously wondering.~ "Markus? Are..are you alright? You seem well jumpy now." ~I mean if this was because of her or anything she would apologize she didn't like putting people in odd situations.

Now it was her turn to bit on her lip at least till she saw the tattoo and let her eyes wonder his backside a moment.~ "The Few, The Proud, The Marines...that explains your reaction and behavior when we met. Military well not just any branch the Marines. Was it worth it? I mean going through the bootcamps, the training, the punishment from the other officers?" ~Leaning against the counter with her hands softly resting on the edge waiting to see if he would tell her. Now she had been curious on his life if he was willing to share it.~

[markus]

He should have known that trying to hide things from her was useless, well emotions anyway. She was far more perceptive than he would have thought. He licked at his lips to wet them, taking another step back from her. Smiling softly, nodding lightly at the question. "I'm fine Tasha.. Just-Just tired." He stuttered out before he'd turned. He wasn't tired at all, he really just needed a minute to think things through, to figure out where the sudden urge came from, why his thoughts were running away from him like they had. He chewed at his lower back, turning to go back to his room, the towel he'd used to dry his hair in his hand. And then his entire frame froze, rocking to a stop at her words. Ones that were so familiar to him. His hands balled into fists around the towel, taking in a slow breath.

He should have worn a shirt, even a dirty one. He stood still for a moment as a thousand memories fluttered through his mind at once, all of them from the early days. He let out the breath he'd taken in nearly a minute before. Slowly Markus turned back to face her, staring at her for a minute before nodding. "I owe my life to the Marines." He said not really an answer to her question, a sad smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. He owed them more than his life. If it weren't for their training he never wouldn't have survived out here on his own. If it weren't for them flying him home when they had, he probably would have died in Iraq with his brothers. The camp they'd been stationed in had been blown to bits in the implosion, no survivors. Even with the enormous amount of gratitude he felt toward the Marines for his life, he also felt a swell of hatred. He blamed them nearly as much as he did himself for what had happened to his family. If not for them he never would have met his wife, they wouldn't have had children.. they wouldn't have died alone because he was a week late being shipped home.

He blamed himself for signing up in the first place. He stepped back toward her, resting the hand that held the towel onto the counter beside her, his hand still balled in a fist. Leaning his hip against the counter he focused his gaze on the stove for a short time before back to her face, nodding again. "It was worth it. More than anything else in my life, it was worth it." He said, surprised that he actually meant it. He knew that he would be a different man if he'd never joined, if he'd never met her.. and he knew she would see all of the pain he was in every day just from his time serving and was glad that she never had to see it. He focused his gaze on her eyes, that nervousness from before had evaporated.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~He was right in his line of thought she could easily pick up on emotions and hiding was useless. Looking back to him a moment waiting and she raised a brow not honestly believing him. Letting out a breath before she suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, the tension in his body she could easily pick up on. But she didn't say anything letting him decide if he wanted to talk or not. Licking her lips some softly leaning still against the counter watching as he turned towards her again. Nodding back to him softly as if to say he could continue.

Tasha didn't push if he didn't wish to talk than she wouldn't make him. Those liquid golden eyes looking back, watching him seeing his body language. Taking in the emotions she was currently giving off seeing him stepping up closer she tilted her head some. Those eyes watching him though soft and holding an understanding beneath them. Turning so her body was facing him more as he finally did speak.~ "The Marines have been known for helping out a good many people both in and out of the service itself. To hear you speak on them is warming. So how long did you stay in? Though if you don't wish to talk about it that is fine."

Staring up at him filling the flitter of emotions from him though she never took her eyes from his. Hesitantly reaching to place her hand on his arm and lightly squeezed as if to give him a little support.~

[markus]

Markus frowned to himself in thought, letting his gaze trail quickly over her before landing on the floor. He knew she wasn't pressuring him to talk about it, but at the same time couldn't help the little vibe that told him 'I shared, now it's your turn'. He chuckled darkly, shaking his head as she spoke. She made it sound as if the Marine Corps was the best thing in the world. He'd seen some truly horrible things, some high ranking officers do unspeakable, unthinkable things all for the sake of a few inches gain. Power changed people.. the Marines helped fuel some of the more fanatical people into getting what they wanted. But at the same time, he wouldn't trade his time with them for the world. At the question he frowned again, debating still on whether or not to talk.

A low sigh slipped past his lips as he dropped the towel onto the counter, offering a tiny smile to her when her hand gripped his arm. His arms raised slowly to cross over his chest, his eyes tight as he thought back. "That depends who's counting I suppose. To anyone else I was only active for twelve years. I still consider myself a marine, so I would say seventeen." He replied with a faint shrug of his broad shoulders. He pulled himself out of her touch to find the cabinet he'd seen her open earlier. Markus grabbed a glass and filled it with water before moving back to stand in the same place. "I shipped out the first time three weeks after my 18th birthday. Youngest any of the recruiters around my area had ever had. I'd gotten everything ready to go the day I turned 18." He said after taking a drink of water and putting the glass down onto the counter.

Markus swallowed hard before opening his mouth again. "Guess I just got bored of college.. Four years there, I just needed a change.." He said, shaking his head. If she were counting the math in her head and actually keeping up with his story, that would have meant he'd started college at 14 years old. Not a common thing in the world, even when there were billions of people living in it. "Found my calling, my place whatever you want to call it with the Marines.. Got to see the world, help some people out.. This," he reached out, grabbing her hand gently and ducking his head. His hand guided hers up along the base of his neck and into his hair until her fingers would feel the raised scar hidden in his hair, "is what ended my first tour. The building we were pulling a fellow soldier out of was blown up as we were evacuating. Shrapnel lodged itself in my skull." He shrugged, releasing her hand though didn't lift his head back up until she had lowered her hand. He'd taken the time to feel out the scar on her spine, why not let her do the same?

"Scared the hell outta me when they told me I might not be able to make it back." His shoulders shook with a little laugh. "Six months later I was fit to be back on active duty.." He said, there was an immense sadness to the words, chewing on his lower lip. Some days he wished they had never been able to put him back in the field.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Much like he had done when she was talking, Tasha would give him the room. Not saying a word only nodding here and there when needed. Although she was taking in his words carefully and had come up with a rather young age for him to be in college. It had her slightly curious about this man even more, moving to cross her arms and letting him get the water. She could pick up on his hesitation and nervousness but said nothing.

Smiling a little towards him but when he suddenly took her hand she watched curiously. Seeing his head bowing before her fingers touched the raised scar. Letting them trail over that area as he spoke and couldn't help the look of shock coming over her face.~ "My god Markus you are just extremely luck considering." ~Slowly after a moment moving her hand away so he could once more stand and looking up at him. Letting out a breath as he continued and moved to lean on the counter once more though despite that sudden laugh the sadness over ran it.

Without even hesitating this time she took his hand again in hers and just held it. Not saying a word just letting him know. It was alright and no matter if he wanted too or didn't right now she understood. He had already shared alot so if it was needed the rest could wait. She didn't know what caused the emotion shift and wasn't wanting to see him keep putting himself in that situation.~ "Your alot more dedicated and alot stronger to be willing to go back active after that. I doubt I could of doctors clearance or not."

[markus]

He let out a faint laugh as she spoke, shaking his head lightly. "Unfortunately that is the same word a lot of people used. Lucky; I doubt so much it was luck that kept me alive.." He said, shrugging his broad shoulders up lightly. No, it wasn't luck. It was his own perserverence, his own will to keep fighting. And perhaps a little miracle from God. He licked at his lower lip after straightening up and taking another drink of water. Another small flush hit his cheeks, though this time without the embarressment. It was more that he wasn't used to talking about any of this with anyone else, he wasn't used to the closeness he was feeling and getting from Tasha. He wasn't used to any kind of attention at all, really. Well, not anymore anyway.

He gave a gentle squeeze of her hand, though didn't release it. Hearing her brought another wry little smile to his lips. "Ah, I was pretty happy with my lot at that point. Had everything I could possibly want, knew all the people I needed to.. Being back out there helping people was what I wanted to do.. Doctors orders be damned." He chuckled and shook his head again. "At first they kept me close to the base, close to home.. just in case. My C.O. wanted them to try and get it out, afraid it was going to affect me somehow-" making a face, knowing it truly did affect him "-Doc said it wasn't operable, if they took it out, I'd bleed to death. So I was on a desk job for a while.. Once I was cleared to go back, I.." He cut himself off, brows furrowing again.

His teeth grazed his lower lip as he chewed on it in thought. Slowly, his gaze lowered to the hand in hers, to the ring on his finger. Markus closed his eyes and let out a slow breath, he hoped she noticed the ring, otherwise when he spoke again she was likely to be confused. "I couldn't. By then we'd already had our daughter and she was growing like a weed. I didn't want to miss a moment of it. So I rode out the desk job for another couple of months and then they pulled the patriot card." He said, smiling sadly. Obviously he was a sucker for that patriot card. To hear that his fellow soldiers needed him, that people were dying over there, that he could help.. naturally that made him want to go. Naturally his wife understood, but she begged him to stay. "I told them I would rather stay at home, but since I was active, they chose where to send me, and back over I had to go. Same day I learned they were shipping me out.. I found out she was pregnant again." He said, a sad smile touching his lips. It was apparent that he had a hard time saying their names. It made it that much harder, made the memories that much stronger. Hell, he even avoided thinking their names..

Of course there wasn't a happy ending. This wasn't a fairy tale. There was no hero to come charging out from the shadows and save the day. No miracle that would make everything alright again. This was real life and the reality of that was, it sucked. Nothing could change what happened, nothing would make everything better. He kept his emotions reeled in, not showing much of anything on his face, but that didn't mean the girl wouldn't feel them. Hurt, anger, depression, everything but an ounce of joy. "I didn't even see his face until it was too late..." He whispered almost inaudibly as he pulled his hand back from hers, rubbing hard at his face with both of them. He kept his hands there, taking slow deep breaths as the memories washed over him again.

[Tasha_Moondancer]

~Tasha merely nodded to the comment but had to agree he was right, luck was only part of it. But than looking at him he wasn't a man to just give up either, no matter what he didn't seem the type to lay down and die. Not that at times anyone didn't feel that way of course, heaven help her she had. But than the anger came and she found a way to move on and go even if only a part of her was there. Listening and just trying to be a comfort for him if he needed it. Wondering about the flush on his cheeks but let it go.

When he squeezed her hand back a small smile came across her lips and didn't think much when he hadn't released her either. Tilting her head those eyes staying on his face listening and shook her head slightly.~ "You remind me of myself, I don't exactly like to listen when it comes to what is best. Especially when I'm hurt. It's usually screw my own health I need to help." ~Sighing softly before she felt a little bit of sadness coming from herself about his injury, the fact operating would possible leave him dying. But his hesitating caught her attention.

Squeezing his hand again before glancing down and only than catching the glint of his ring. So as he spoke her eyes shot back up to him in a look that clearly said, 'please don't tell me...' but he already was and she felt herself tense up. Sure it sounded like a typical family conversation but she wasn't stupid and was realizing some of the emotions he had been feeling. Biting on her lip hard closing her eyes as she willed the emotions away.

She couldn't handle both of theirs right now and sucked in a breath through her teeth. Slowly willing her eyes open to look at him and could see how much their memory hurt him, just as the cocktail of emotions came flooding out. Not fussing when he let her hand go and looked down a moment understanding alot more and hating how similar their pasts were. "I'm truly sorry about your family Markus, but I do know how you feel. And I can't stand here and tell you it will all be alright, because you and I both know that isn't true. Sure maybe one day...but the pain, the memories all of it will still be here.."

~Resting a hand over her heart before she exhaled once more and turned her head to look out the window. Willing the tears back hating that he lost his wife and two children and wishing she could make it better. But she couldn't. "In our hearts we just have to let it instead of consume us let it make us stronger...god I sound like some sappy card." ~Turning back around to give them both a little privacy and taking another breath in not sure what else to say now.~

[markus]

He'd chuckled softly at her words, nodding his head. Yes, they seemed to have some qualities that were similar. His health was always one of the last things on his mind, he was more focused on making sure everyone else was alright, that everyone else was safe. And then he would worry about thirty other things before they focused on anything for himself. He'd caught that look in her eyes, as if he was about to break her heart rather than him tell her what had already broken his. It truly made him feel for the girl who could feel everything that rolled off of him. Markus couldn't imagine what that was like, to know everything that everyone around you was feeling, to wonder why.. to not be able to help them. It had to have been hard.

When his hands lowered from his face there were no tears, his eyes weren't red from holding them back.. he looked fairly emotionless and calm about the whole thing. It may have made him seem cold, but he'd cried all he could for his family. He couldn't get the tears to flow for them anymore. That was just the sad reality of it. His tongue brushed across his lips as she spoke, offering her a sad smile. "It is there, it's just hard to think about." He said with a tiny shrug of his shoulders. It was hard to think about, even worse to talk about. Sure, she understood how he felt. They all did. In this new world they had, everyone had lost a lot of people they loved, even before the explosion. Even though he knew that she understood, he still held a hardened expression. Everyone 'understood', everyone sympathized, everyone tried to give him the same Halmark Card advice.

'Just hold onto the memories', 'Remember they're in a better place', 'There's nothing you could have done', 'I'm sure they loved you very much'. It all sounded the same to his ears. Things he'd heard a hundred times that had started to lose their meaning. As she turned he dropped his eyes to the floor, sucking in a slow breath and reaching out for his glass to take another drink. A faint laugh as she spoke, nodding softly. "Yes, you do. A little. It happens, I suppose. Death is hard for a lot of people to talk about, to deal with.. even when they aren't the ones who lost the same things the other has." He said as his shoulders shrugged again, turning his eyes to the back of her head.